A Difficult Loss
Late on the night of Ash Wednesday, we lost my grandfather. Papa, my dad’s dad, was an amazing man. He was a Captain in the United States Navy and served for many years as a Navy chaplain, then as a pastor of a small church in his hometown. We had to travel to Georgia for his funeral at the last minute that weekend for his funeral. If you’re curious about my incredible Papa, you can read his obituary here
Leaning on each other
A few of my kids don’t do well with sudden changes, so a last-minute 9-12 hour drive each way, with only about 2 very full days to stay in Georgia, was going to be very challenging. I was worried that I would be spread too thin managing big emotions from little people, while also processing my own: a fear which I suspect many with big families likely understand. While there, I noticed something new. Maybe not new, but not something I’ve ever paid much attention to: they leaned on each other in between times that I was able to be fully available to them. As I comforted one, or a small group, others noticed and were sensitive to their siblings’ feelings. Our almost 4-year-old noticed her 10-year-old sister having a hard time, and just sat with her, put her hand in her lap, and leaned her head on her shoulder. I could see the tension leave big sister’s body as she sighed and breathed with her much younger sister. (I didn’t take many photos of this stressful weekend, but wanted to include some of my favorite candid shots from other precious moments to help illustrate my thoughts).
What about the older generations?
I come from a big family, too: I’m the oldest of 6 children, but our ages are more spread out. One brother and I are 2 years apart, then there is a 10-year gap, followed by 4 more siblings, all roughly 2-3 years apart. My youngest brother is just a year older than my oldest daughter. The loss of Papa has been another beautiful example of the support we have in each other. One of the younger brothers and I are usually the more protective, empathetic ones who help hold things together and support others. Even still, we can’t always be everything, and we all know it. Our other siblings held us and each other when it was hard to keep composure. While I held my husband and 2 of our kids, I was met with a strong hand on my shoulder. When one “tough guy” sibling, whose family was unable to join him, started to struggle, several younger ones ran to him and held him up.
My hope for the future
I feel so blessed to have witnessed all these things. I am comforted because this week was a stark reminder that my husband and I won’t always be here. When our time on earth is over, my only prayer is that my children still have each other.
Eternal rest grant unto Paul, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him. May his soul and all the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.
Amen.
For an overview of my thoughts on large families, read this post. More detailed posts will be coming soon to accompany it.
