As the momma of a bigger family, I’m sometimes greeted in public by people implying many negative points of parenting this many kids. Usually it’s something along the lines of how they could never handle it, or I must be out of my mind. I wanted to begin a series about the blessings and challenges of big family life. No one could honestly say that there are never occasions made a little more challenging by the larger brood, but every drawback has always been at least matched by incredible blessings and the opportunities to reflect on the bigger picture. Over time, I will go into more detail about some of the points as I feel drawn to do so, but for now, I will keep it as this list that I compiled over time.
Challenges that come with a big family
- Exhaustion! I don’t remember ever having a period longer than 3 months in which everyone slept well.
- I think I forget what quiet is. It’s always loud around here, and I’m not sure what to do when it’s quiet.
- You can’t meet every need at all times.
- Doctor appointments are hard- ever since 2020, we have struggled to find a provider who allows me to bring more than 1 sibling.
- Groceries are expensive! I think most everyone struggles with rising costs these days, but when the increase is multiplied times many little mouths to feed, it can feel overwhelming. Cooking from scratch is the most affordable option.
- With only 1-2 parents available to transport kids and many little people with varying interests, it’s impossible for everyone to do every activity. Sometimes they have to take turns.
- The biggest challenge for me is the number of rude comments from strangers in front of my kids. I am tough and can take a lot of criticism, but when they started impacting my kids, I got mad! For a while, my oldest had it in her head that my life was made more difficult by our big family because she heard so many people make comments about it. This was heartbreaking to me and I have worked hard to make sure they all know just how cherished they are.
Beautiful parts of having a big family
- Babies only come one (ok, maybe 2) at a time.
- Everyone becomes more patient- even Mom and Dad!
- Life is never boring (I’m writing this as we all are recovering from some terrible illness, the day after we returned from a last-minute out-of-state trip).
- Your children care for each other and show compassion.
- They have built-in best friends. They don’t all get along at all times, but they always have someone to lean on when they need it.
- They learn responsibility- I can’t do every single task in our home alone, and each child, even the little ones, pitch in with a chore, helping a sibling, or preparing a meal.
- They become natural problem-solvers.
- Everyone learns their gifts to contribute to our family, and eventually to society.
- You learn to let go of the things that don’t really matter and cherish what matters most.
- I get to try new recipes to keep it entertaining and stay out of food ruts, and the kids love to learn new skills in the kitchen. They each have a favorite meal to prepare with varying levels of assistance.
- Most people have a positive view of your family. Sometimes the negative strangers with gross comments are the loudest, but I think the positive comments have outnumbered those by far.
So are big families worth it?
ABSOLUTELY! I have found the qualities and quantities of blessings have far exceeded the challenges. Obviously no two families are the same, so you shouldn’t make a choice based on a random person on the internet, but I never could have imagined our life being this incredible. In fact, we think it’s so wonderful that we have decided to add a 7th little one to our family, and God-willing, that sweet miracle will join our house in the fall.